Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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