My brain says no but my pants say off.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize