All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
