I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You made out with two different species that night
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
