Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize