Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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