I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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