So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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