I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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