fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
