i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
