Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Randomize
