I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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