It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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