Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
