On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
