It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My penis needs a shock collar
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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