What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
