Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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