Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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