Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
