Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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