the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
it was like eating out sand paper
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize