It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
