After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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