Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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