my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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