Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
