need another drink. this is the easiest way
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
