I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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