You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
