apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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