I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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