The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
the condom got lost in my hair
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I love you. Go after that dick
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize