I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
