She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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