the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
