i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
