I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
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so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
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I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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