Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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