Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
