We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
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the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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