did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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