My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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