Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
