Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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