do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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