Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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