Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
