hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
