DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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