Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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